Journals183
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Guh, I need a friend
2 min read
Like, my life is pretty great. I have flesh & blood people I call friends. We meet up over lunch, we go out together, we watch stuff, go rock-climbing... Then I have my Puddin' with whom we go on long walks and discuss the books we've read and day to day things, and then cuddle through the night... but... but...
I find myself with no confidant. No one to share my intimate insecurities with, or my so very deep fangirl feels. Sure, I can pour it all out on me Puddin' (and occasionally I do), but despite his willingness to politely hear me out, it's not something he can relate to.
Insecurities aside, really I think it's the fangirl feels that are at the core of my lonesomeness right now. It's been a while since I've been so deeply into something, and there's just no one on my same wavelength, and I get swept up and overwhelmed, and embarrassed to admit it, because most "normal" people have no concept of what that's like, and would, at best, just be unable to relate, and at worst, think I'm coo-coo. And the PhD is not exactly a walk in the park. I love it, but there's no denying how much it takes out of me. So free time is limited. I want to draw all the fan art. It tends to be a cathartic experience and is also an excellent way to connect with other fans... But I'm rusty, so it takes longer and looks meh and feels inadequate.
So there.
The fandom in question is the Chinese drama The Untamed, in case you're curious >_>
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I sings again :3
1 min read
Life has been ~going~.
Of the more interesting life developments are:
1) ARFID Eating Disorder. I have it! I'm in therapy and re-learning to eat and enjoy food. If you'd like to share some of your favorite (easy to find/make) dishes with me, I can give it a try.
2) Imagine you are royalty and are throwing a fancy dancing party at your palace. The ball is in your court. (pun of the week)
3) I'll be doing another AI research internship this summer. This time, in Unity Technologies. Egg-sighting.
4) Oh yeah! If you like zombies and Pokemon Go, join my team in The Walking Dead: Our World. We are Nicoterors
Of the more interesting life developments are:
1) ARFID Eating Disorder. I have it! I'm in therapy and re-learning to eat and enjoy food. If you'd like to share some of your favorite (easy to find/make) dishes with me, I can give it a try.
2) Imagine you are royalty and are throwing a fancy dancing party at your palace. The ball is in your court. (pun of the week)
3) I'll be doing another AI research internship this summer. This time, in Unity Technologies. Egg-sighting.
4) Oh yeah! If you like zombies and Pokemon Go, join my team in The Walking Dead: Our World. We are Nicoterors
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All the news!
5 min read
I've been gone awhile.
The past few months have been some of the most eventful in my life (I think? Or does it always feel that way?)
Anyway! Here's a rundown of what I've been up to.
Creatively:
While procrastinating my Master's thesis, I recorded another song:
I became enthralled with DC Superhero Girls 12" dolls. It started almost by accident, but I came into possession of a Harley and Ivy. The dolls are so expressive (to me, anyway), that I got carried away coming up with stuff for them to do. Little outfits and props soon followed. I decided to take
's advice and I'll be posting the chronicles of the girls' adventures here. Stay tuned (if you're in to it XD). Mainly I've been working on doll stuff of late. I'm preventing myself from talking any more about my dolls right now. It's taking serious effort.
Entertainment:
I've been reading lots of LitRPGs of late. Any of you know what that genre even is? I guess Ready Player One was the first that stood out. Currently switched to Russian authors. Some are pretty good, and audio books are available both in English and Russian, which means I can enjoy my native language while still being able to read the same book with my ... Puddin' XD
Of course, I'm playing an RPG, because those books are giving me cravings like you wouldn't believe it! Ever heard of Bravely Default? It's a 3DS game. I just started. The art is cute. That is all.
Education:
I'm hooked on WaniKani! Heard of such a thing? Supposedly really good at teaching you kanji. Kanji is a one big blank in my knowledge of Japanese, so I thought I'd try it out. It's hilarious, challenging, very frustrating at times. I love it. Highly recommend. Aaand you can try before you buy. How cool is that?
I TA'd for a class with 300 students last quarter. What hell >_<. I don't think classes should have that many students T_T. It's over now.
As of March 23rd I am a Master of Science (or, as I like to be called, the Mistress of Science) in Computational Media (that's sort of an intersection of computer science with humanities).
I finished my thesis and wrote a scientific paper about the same thing. I should know in the beginning of May whether it will be accepted for publication. Wish me luck.
As you may have seen in the previous journal entry, I've published a game. It was featured in my research, so my professor allowed me to recruit a few undergrad students to program the UI and add consistent graphics, all as part of official, paid research. Preeeetty cool.
Now I'm on my way to a PhD. In a few years I could be Dr. Keehl. Like a villain name with a bad accent XD
The coolest thing ever is that I landed an internship with EA for the summer! I'll be doing AI research with them. It is so beyond any of my hopes and well into my dreams! That's starting in the end of June. I can not wait. After being rejected by the likes of Google, Mozilla, Amazon, etc. etc. etc. for generic software engineering internships I was quite disheartened when BAM! Life's ambition on a silver plate.
Health:
My New Year started with a fever. It steadily rose day by day and the day before my birthday I ended up in the ER with a 103.3. Then I spent several days at the hospital, while they probed, tested and scanned every inch of my body, trying to figure out what was causing the fever. They didn't find out, but they gave me some hard core antibiotics just in case and that seemed to take care of the problem. I also managed to "stress out" my liver by taking the maximum recommended dose of Tylenol for several days to keep the fever (and accompanying intense body aches) at bay. Be warned! Just because it says "Don't take more than this" doesn't mean that you can take that much without hurting yourself.
Both I and my liver are perfectly fine now. It was just a very strange occurrence. It was also my first birthday in a hospital. The nurses brought me a piece of delicious cake and decorated my "menu" with colored highlighters. It was very sweet :3
Love and Family:
I'm about to be an aunt!!!!!! I don't want any children of my own, but I'm super excited to have a little one to spoil and care for from afar
Trying to get this polyamory thing working. I have the guy I love and the girl I like and getting to know better and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It's not easy to maintain and develop two relationships while also working on a graduate degree. Well, I guess it's not easy to do two relationships period, but the hope is that the reward is worth the effort. Anyone care to share their own poly-love success stories?
Ok, that is that for now. Back to sewing
The past few months have been some of the most eventful in my life (I think? Or does it always feel that way?)
Anyway! Here's a rundown of what I've been up to.
Creatively:
While procrastinating my Master's thesis, I recorded another song:
I became enthralled with DC Superhero Girls 12" dolls. It started almost by accident, but I came into possession of a Harley and Ivy. The dolls are so expressive (to me, anyway), that I got carried away coming up with stuff for them to do. Little outfits and props soon followed. I decided to take
's advice and I'll be posting the chronicles of the girls' adventures here. Stay tuned (if you're in to it XD). Mainly I've been working on doll stuff of late. I'm preventing myself from talking any more about my dolls right now. It's taking serious effort. Entertainment:
I've been reading lots of LitRPGs of late. Any of you know what that genre even is? I guess Ready Player One was the first that stood out. Currently switched to Russian authors. Some are pretty good, and audio books are available both in English and Russian, which means I can enjoy my native language while still being able to read the same book with my ... Puddin' XD
Of course, I'm playing an RPG, because those books are giving me cravings like you wouldn't believe it! Ever heard of Bravely Default? It's a 3DS game. I just started. The art is cute. That is all.
Education:
I'm hooked on WaniKani! Heard of such a thing? Supposedly really good at teaching you kanji. Kanji is a one big blank in my knowledge of Japanese, so I thought I'd try it out. It's hilarious, challenging, very frustrating at times. I love it. Highly recommend. Aaand you can try before you buy. How cool is that?
I TA'd for a class with 300 students last quarter. What hell >_<. I don't think classes should have that many students T_T. It's over now.
As of March 23rd I am a Master of Science (or, as I like to be called, the Mistress of Science) in Computational Media (that's sort of an intersection of computer science with humanities).
I finished my thesis and wrote a scientific paper about the same thing. I should know in the beginning of May whether it will be accepted for publication. Wish me luck.
As you may have seen in the previous journal entry, I've published a game. It was featured in my research, so my professor allowed me to recruit a few undergrad students to program the UI and add consistent graphics, all as part of official, paid research. Preeeetty cool.
Now I'm on my way to a PhD. In a few years I could be Dr. Keehl. Like a villain name with a bad accent XD
The coolest thing ever is that I landed an internship with EA for the summer! I'll be doing AI research with them. It is so beyond any of my hopes and well into my dreams! That's starting in the end of June. I can not wait. After being rejected by the likes of Google, Mozilla, Amazon, etc. etc. etc. for generic software engineering internships I was quite disheartened when BAM! Life's ambition on a silver plate.
Health:
My New Year started with a fever. It steadily rose day by day and the day before my birthday I ended up in the ER with a 103.3. Then I spent several days at the hospital, while they probed, tested and scanned every inch of my body, trying to figure out what was causing the fever. They didn't find out, but they gave me some hard core antibiotics just in case and that seemed to take care of the problem. I also managed to "stress out" my liver by taking the maximum recommended dose of Tylenol for several days to keep the fever (and accompanying intense body aches) at bay. Be warned! Just because it says "Don't take more than this" doesn't mean that you can take that much without hurting yourself.
Both I and my liver are perfectly fine now. It was just a very strange occurrence. It was also my first birthday in a hospital. The nurses brought me a piece of delicious cake and decorated my "menu" with colored highlighters. It was very sweet :3
Love and Family:
I'm about to be an aunt!!!!!! I don't want any children of my own, but I'm super excited to have a little one to spoil and care for from afar
Trying to get this polyamory thing working. I have the guy I love and the girl I like and getting to know better and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. It's not easy to maintain and develop two relationships while also working on a graduate degree. Well, I guess it's not easy to do two relationships period, but the hope is that the reward is worth the effort. Anyone care to share their own poly-love success stories?
Ok, that is that for now. Back to sewing
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I published a game!!!
1 min read
You can play it for free on Kongregate:
It's Alive!
(You don't need an account to play if you don't care about saving your scores. They might make you watch an ad if you don't have an ad blocker installed).
My game is called "It's Alive!"
It's a little like Tetris/Plumber. You build monsters out of falling parts, trying to build them as big and color coordinated as possible.
There are several modes of play. I had fun making it, and I hope you have fun playing it.
Four undergraduate students worked tirelessly this quarter to bring this project to fruition (as I got lazy after the gameplay was done and couldn't be bothered with all the menus
)
It's Alive!
(You don't need an account to play if you don't care about saving your scores. They might make you watch an ad if you don't have an ad blocker installed).
My game is called "It's Alive!"
It's a little like Tetris/Plumber. You build monsters out of falling parts, trying to build them as big and color coordinated as possible.
There are several modes of play. I had fun making it, and I hope you have fun playing it.
Four undergraduate students worked tirelessly this quarter to bring this project to fruition (as I got lazy after the gameplay was done and couldn't be bothered with all the menus
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Doggie dreams
1 min read
After a rather traumatic attempt to adopt a dog (seriously, how can rescue volunteers be that mean? T_T ), we're thinking about puppies (much as we dread the house training bit). Especially since puppies sometimes go even cheaper than the adoption fee. Again, what?
I'm a self-professed not-a-dog-person.
But those Australian Shepherds are sooooo cute. I see a potential of actually loving one unconditionally
Looking at puppies online, I'm appalled at the barbaric practice of cutting the little cuties' tails off... turns out some of them are born that way O_O And the others are cut to match. We'll be looking for a full-tailed one
And one without the famous ghost coat/eyes. Old-fashioned black/white/brown should do
We have a week-long trip mid-August, so no puppies until then, but I'm sooo excited >_> orz. I keep looking at puppies instead of doing useful things orz.
So, not that I've "said it out loud," maybe I can move on.
I'm a self-professed not-a-dog-person.
But those Australian Shepherds are sooooo cute. I see a potential of actually loving one unconditionally
Looking at puppies online, I'm appalled at the barbaric practice of cutting the little cuties' tails off... turns out some of them are born that way O_O And the others are cut to match. We'll be looking for a full-tailed one
And one without the famous ghost coat/eyes. Old-fashioned black/white/brown should do We have a week-long trip mid-August, so no puppies until then, but I'm sooo excited >_> orz. I keep looking at puppies instead of doing useful things orz.
So, not that I've "said it out loud," maybe I can move on.
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